Thanks
Wednesday, Dec. 21, 2005 at 12:12 a.m.
I've been scanning and bloghopping and I've come to this plainly sad conclusion that my blog is dirt. Seriously DIRT! I have no style of writing at all. I suck! Big time!
My older sister is back with us. And I had to cancel the yacht club booking cuz she didn't want to go. I feel so sad for sand and mich. They're parents quarrel. And I guess I'm not a very good person myself. I feel so condemned. I feel that I'm ready for death. Sorta. Ok, I have to give that some thought. Cuz I'm scared that my mom will scold me for being ingrateful. She just went out with my eldest sister and I to cut our hair and go shopping for my carolling clothes.
She's a cool mom. She plays the Xbox, I don't. But it's like some things that other moms will refuse to do, my mom does them. I wanna be just like that to my kids when I grow up. Before I continue, there's a very freaky thing that is going on. The song that was playing on a website is still playing now although I have already closed the window. I'm freaked, but I like the song. Haha.
We only have 2 more official carolling practises before the real thing on sat and sun. We're singing like 5 times!!!! Hope my voice can hold out. My throat is hurting already. I'm trying to speak without 'la' and all the other singlish words. I'm trying cuz my older sister just returned from 3 months of education in UK. I'm going there the year after next. I can't wait. I love UK. My sister is starting to talk like them. And she was trying to get my dad to say 'cheers' in the place of 'thank you'. I can't wait!
I'm gonna make a resolution to study ultra mega super hard next year. Get a scholarship like my sister. She's soooooo smart, it hurts!
People who know her and me keep coming up to me and going 'your sister is so smart' or complimenting her in any way possible. Goodness! Even her friends in UK think that she's perfect. It's so hard for me to want to compete. I don't! And my younger cousin wants to be just like her. In fact, my younger cousin is so competitive her DISC graph has everything above the line. Which means that she tries to be every personality. She's so good! I fade in comparison to all. I totally suck. And now, I don't even wanna take my dip. I want to just learn more repertiores.
The song is now freaking me out! Help! What do I do to get rid of it!
Whew! I killed it! Muahahahahahahaha! I'm such an unsociable person. I'm like this bug that no one wants. I bet no one really likes me. Sure! Chide me for having such a low self-esteem. I have found no outlet for my feelings except on myself. I hate looking and not having. I wish for once, just like the woman in 'the music man' said, "for once, I'd like someone to be in love with me'. Yes, I DO like broadway musicals. So? I think they're nice. They're very interesting and the storyline's aren't boring or old. They are MUCH better than some movies. I shouldn't have returned the 'singing in the rain' too early. I so regret it. And I haven't gotten any X'mas pressies yet. I have got to get them soon.
A big grateful thank you to these people who were somehow in my life and made it more meaningful to live:
My parents--you are there all the time
My older sister--irritating but when i think about it carefully, it made sense
Kid--you BRAT! I love you.
My cousins--you guys rock. Love you BOTH v.dearly
My grandparents--sorry for being such an irritant and bad-tempered brat
Jona--I miss you so much! Please write to us soon!
Jane--You were there in person, physically. Every single day of school, except for the time you had cello exam, but you came back after that
Phoebe--Thanks for everything. Listening to my stupid problems. Thanks for your advice. God bless you always dear!
Suyee--Sorry we don't talk much anymore. I still am really grateful for your friendship all these years. It really means alot to me! :D
Ianthe--Thanks for the card dear! Haven't sent any cards myself. Thanks for your encouragement. It really got me going!
Melodie--Thanks for you words of advice. No words could really express my thanks.
Jac--Hope you meet a hairy guy...ermm.. sorry about your bro..X|
Marina--Hey to you in Japan. Heez. Didn't know you were Japanese. XD. Have fun! See you soon
Ming--Sorry I don't talk to you alot. But you always remember me. I feel so bad sometimes. It's like I'm not sincere enough when I say sorry. So Sorry!!!! again.
Amanda Tan aka feimao--Sorry for being such an irritating bad-tempered twit during the UK trip.
Gerielle--Thanks so much for lending Ianthe your shirt. I still have it. It's washed. Remind me to return it to you on the first day of school k.
Janice--Thanks dear for the help you gave in accompanying me for flute exam. You rock! You're piano playing is way better than me.
Nureen--Thanks for being such a fun-loving desk partner who never failed to make me laugh everyday. Love ya!
Rachel Tay--Don't be so hard on yourself. You make me look like I take life so easy. Relax k! You can do it! :D
Sandra Loh--Thanks for being such a comforting person! You're presence is greatly appreciated!
Su Ern--Thanks for bringing Jamie Cullum's music to life in front of us! You are so cool! XD
Zai--So sorry I never tok to you alot this year. Forgive me dear. You also never talk to me. :( Thanks for being my close friend all this while.
Tim Ong--I never thought that talking to you would be so positive. Really think that your sunny attitude influences others. :p. Sure worked on me! Thanks!
Samuel--Sure, you don't talk to me anymore. Not much at least. But you still respond. And that's all I need. Thanks for being a friend to talk to :D God Bless!
Ok, to all my teachers. Thanks to you. I am what I am. :) Not good enough? I'll try harder. Promise.